We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
