just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
