"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The Olympian is in my bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
