At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this hospital has no fireball
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
