Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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