Are we in a gay sports bar?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
