You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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