I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
