Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
