Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize