ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
