Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
