Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
