dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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