Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
