bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize