where am i from again
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
