Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
