She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
