Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Randomize
