going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
