I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
