You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
