mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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