wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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