id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
