OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
