All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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