That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
