I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
