i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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