I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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