Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
