is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
