I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
