and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
