**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
