dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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