Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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