His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
