Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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