just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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