I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
