Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
