She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
