I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He passed out mid-signature
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
