every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
