these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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