You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
