am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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