sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
