Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
