hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were trust falling into bushes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
